First off, I would like to suggest to everyone that they read “Redeeming Childbirth” by Angie Tolpin. It is because of that book and what I allowed the Lord to do in my heart through it, that Jed’s pregnancy, labor, and birth was what it was.
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| The Monday before Jed was born. 39 weeks 4 days. |
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| Picture by Charles. Wednesday 6/7 |
I’m not exactly sure where to start because Jed’s story starts long before he was born. The Lord has spoken very clearly to me about each one of my pregnancies. With Charlie, I knew that he would make it to his due date and that finishing school would not be an issue - I had him 5 days after I finished my degree. I remember the Lord specifically telling me that Lydia would be born early. I did not know how early, but she came two days before her due date. Sixteen weeks into Jed’s pregnancy I prayed that the Lord would reveal a name to me. Almost instantly the name Jedidiah was on my heart. I looked it up and fell in love with the meaning. Wisdom from the Lord is also something I pray for daily - for myself and my husband and our children. The fact that Jedidiah was the name given to the wisest man was just an added bonus. In that moment I felt the Lord speak to me and I was sure our third child would be a boy. However, unlike my other pregnancies, I did not claim the Lord’s words to be true. I did at first, but as time went on I questioned His voice and let go of what I knew to be true and from the Lord.
This pregnancy was the hardest for me spiritually, but by far, I also grew the most spiritually during this season. I love being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but having the miracle of life inside me and literally being blessed the ability to help create another life is SUCH a blessing that I do not take for granted. However, this pregnancy was a little different. I struggled with letting the devil steal my joy during the WHOLE pregnancy from the time I took the test, until the moment I felt his head crown. Nearly each day was a wrestling match between the devil and the Lord over my heart and my joy. At first I had an important relationship of mine fall apart, that I felt was because of my pregnancy. Then everyone kept telling me that I was too small, so I worried for my babe. Then my babe could possibly have a heart defect, then the babe wasn’t growing like it should, and the list continued the whole way through my pregnancy. Looking back those things all sound like big issues, but I knew in my heart and from the Lord that they were not true. Nothing had backing, however I still believed them and let them steal joy from me that the Lord intended for me to have! Before Jed was born, even up to the moment that his head was crowning, the devil was whispering to me heart that I could not birth another baby and that I could not mother three young children. But guys, I am totally confident that the Lord called me to be Jed’s and Lydia’s and Charles’ mother. I prayed for the Lord to heal my heart and replace my woes with joy and He did, until I let the devils whispers take over again. I was in active labor and was mentally fighting the fact that I COULD NOT birth another baby. When you seek after the Lord, the devil is going to fight you harder. Looking back, it saddens me SO much that I struggled, but that is my story, and I feel like I need it share it.
All throughout Angie’s book that I mentioned above she talks about inviting the Lord to your birth and letting Him be your deliverer. I prayed and sought after the Lord leading up to Jed’s birth. Who did He want at the labor? Who and how could I serve during labor? Were any of our decisions made solely because that is what WE wanted, or were they what the LORD wanted?
On Wednesday’s my sister’s mother-in-law cooks dinner for everyone. Crazy, I know. Before dinner I got a text from my good friend Kali asking if I was going to have a baby anytime soon. I said I didn’t think so and that this babe was probably going to overcook (the following day was my due date). Right after I pushed send, I had a large contraction. With my first two babes, I had a lot of contractions leading up to the actual labor. I had very few contractions thus far in my third pregnancy. We went to dinner and ate as usual. As I was cleaning up, I was standing in front of the trashcan and had another contraction. I thought to myself, “man that felt a little like labor” and quickly dismissed the idea. On our way home I had one more contraction. On Wednesdays during the summer Tyler is normally away until bedtime or after. On this particular night he was going to be late so I did bedtime by myself and got the kids ready and in bed. The whole time I got them ready I had mild contractions with a couple that I had to sway a little through, still not strong enough for my kids to notice anything different. When Ty got home, I smiled and told him that maybe I would go into labor in the next few days. Again, with my other two I had contractions like this for a week or two prior to actually going into labor.
We got in the shower and my contractions totally stopped. I was bummed, but really didn’t think I was going to be going into labor anytime that night anyhow. It was after we got out of the shower and I got dressed and started my nightly routine of checking the kids and taking my prenatal that the contractions started up again. They seemed to be regular at this point, so I pulled out my app and started to time them. They were regular, but averaging anywhere between 15-45 seconds long (yes, 15 seconds. I wasn’t even sure if I should count them as contractions!) and were every 3-15 minutes apart. Maybe regular isn’t the right wording, but you get the point.
I was utterly exhausted. Like I don’t remember being the tired before. I was praying that I wouldn’t go into labor, because I didn’t think I had the strength to get through it. I laid down on the bed and fell asleep between contractions, only waking up to push my start and stop button. After a certain contraction around 11PM, I got so cold and shakey and nauseous. At this point Ty thought I was being silly and told me to get in bed and go to sleep for the night. I didn’t think I was in labor, but thought maybe I could be later so I asked him to blow the pool up awhile so we didn’t have to do it later when it may wake the kids up. I tried to lay down and go to sleep for the night, but could not get myself to do it because I felt so... Odd. Odd is the only way I can explain it. My body felt like I was in labor, but my contractions were not there. They were about 15-30 seconds every 10 minutes. At this point, they were terribly strong either. I texted my sisters to let them know that I might maybe go into labor sometime.
As Ty worked on the pool, I tried to get comfortable beside the bed. I was still exhausted and wanted to lay down, but couldn’t for comforts sake. I piled all our pillows up and laid on top of them as I swayed through my contractions. Right after I texted my sisters at 11PM, my contractions started to get STRONG, but not closer. I remember thinking to myself that I was being so wimpy because I was moaning through them and they were so far apart. I thought I was doomed for the rest of labor.
At 12PM, I couldn’t find the strength to stand anymore so I used the chair in our room and kneeled at it while I laid my head of a stack of pillows and continued to sway. Ty really didn’t believed that I was in active labor because my contractions were so far apart. At 12:30 I texted June and told her I was SO confused.
I told Ty maybe he should call the midwife. He wasn’t too sold on the idea, but agreed to call and talk with her and let her know how I was doing. He also called my dad and asked him to pick Theo up and told my mom to start heading over. The midwife thought it was time for her to come so we said she was on her way and would be there around 1AM. At this point my contractions were so strong - dare I say the strongest I have ever felt. The were averaging around 30-45 seconds every 5 minutes. It was at this point that I needed Ty to stay with me through them and I NEEDED to get into the tub to help alleviate the pain.
Around 12:45AM I made my way out to the kitchen/living room to where the pool was right as my dad was arriving to pick Theo up. He said I looked like I was about to have a baby. I think I rolled my eyes at him. Right after he left my water broke. In my head I knew the baby was going to come, I even squatted to catch it (with my first two labors, my water breaks RIGHT before they are born). I didn’t feel the head crowning and could not handle the fact of going through another contraction without being in the birth pool. I put my hand in the water and it felt hot so I got in. (During this whole time Tyler was getting everything ready. He was helping me a little, but wasn’t not able to be as present as I needed.)
As soon as my body submerged in the way, I knew it wasn’t hot enough. I turned to get out right as a contraction came. I couldn’t get out. In that moment I started saying, “Oh no, Oh no, OHHHH NOOO!” Ty asked me what was wrong and I answered, “the baby is crowning and we need the midwife NOW!” He turned to grab his phone to call her. It was in this moment that the Lord redeemed me. He gave me peace. He gave me knowledge. He gave me a clear mind. I knew that the water was not hot enough for the baby and I knew that the baby was coming. A contraction came and I felt the head. I did not push because I did not want the babe to come out yet, but he had different plans. The next wave and his head was out. I looked down and could see that he was about to take a breath. During a contraction, and with half of his body still in me, I was somehow able to lift my pelvis out of the water so that he wouldn’t take his first breath under water. I got his head out right as he was taking his first breath and scream. With the next pain he was out. He looked and sounded so good.
I was in awe and Ty was speechless. He really didn’t know as much as I knew and didn’t know that the baby was coming THAT soon. My mom walked in the door a minute later dumbfounded that the babe was already born! Jane, who was coming to take photos, walked in a couple minutes later. Ty called the midwife was would be there in another couple minutes.
I was too much in shock to ever look at the gender. So many emotions after his birth that I do not think I could ever put them into words. Ultimately, I was in awe of the Lord and what He had done.
After awhile I mustered up the courage to check the gender. A boy, just like the Lord had told me. Jedidiah. Beloved of the Lord. The Lord proved His love for me, again, through Jed’s birth. Jed is loved by Jesus, but so am I and so are you.
The midwife arrived about ten minutes after Jed was born.
If you are pregnant or are planning on being pregnant, seek after the Lord! It is so rewarding. Although I struggled so much during Jed’s pregnancy and labor, the Lord came through and redeemed me SO much. His hand was in every little detail. The whole time the devil was right, I COULDN’T birth another baby and I CAN’T mother three young children by myself. I have to depend on the Lord. It is through Him that I CAN!
If your birth was any indication of the exciting life story ahead of you, know that I'll be right there with you every step of the way. I'm refraining from saying "I can't wait to...", so instead I'm going to say, let's start the adventure right NOW! Love you Jed! -Daddy
