I’ve been planning on writing this for the past month. At all hours of the night I have eloquent words come to my mind as I think about what I want to say, but here I am, over a month out and I am at a loss for words.
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| Taken three days before Foster was born |
Most ladies pray to go into labor early, I pray to go into labor late. I can’t say that I love being pregnant, but I do know how fast it goes and that as soon as they are born the clock starts ticking and the babe grows and gets bigger (and I have to share them). Foster Ellis stole nearly two weeks from me. I will probably remind him of the fact until I’m an old lady and forget myself.
Foster's birth was definitely my longest labor, although, perhaps my shortest active labor. By the time I went into active labor, I was grumpy, exhausted, and frustrated, however the Lord redeemed my selfishness and blessed me with the most contest little blessing. On Wednesday night (3/27), I lost part of my mucus plug. I then lost a little more on Thursday morning. From the time I lost the first part on Wednesday, I had consistent mild contractions (every 45 minutes to an hour) nonstop.
Friday was great. Ty had off work and my mom watched the kids. We took a little date and went to a baby appointment and did grocery shopping. On our way to the appointment, Ty looked at me, smiled, and said, “Hey, this could be the last appointment before the baby is born.” I’m sure that I rolled my eyes at him because I definitely wasn’t ready for it to be over. It was so nice to squeeze in a quick little date before the baby was born (yes, a doctors appointment and grocery shopping is definitely a date ;-) ) At the appointment, we got to listen to the baby. Ty even got a sweet little video that I treasure. The midwife told us that although baby was still head down, he was not engaged at all. Since I had been having pretty regular contractions, and since Jed's birth was so quick, she offered to check my dilation. I declined. I hate being checked and always decline. I know too many stories of ladies that were not dilated and then had a baby shortly after (and vise versa). Dilation often mean nothing and only add extra stress and unwanted germs.
Friday was great. Ty had off work and my mom watched the kids. We took a little date and went to a baby appointment and did grocery shopping. On our way to the appointment, Ty looked at me, smiled, and said, “Hey, this could be the last appointment before the baby is born.” I’m sure that I rolled my eyes at him because I definitely wasn’t ready for it to be over. It was so nice to squeeze in a quick little date before the baby was born (yes, a doctors appointment and grocery shopping is definitely a date ;-) ) At the appointment, we got to listen to the baby. Ty even got a sweet little video that I treasure. The midwife told us that although baby was still head down, he was not engaged at all. Since I had been having pretty regular contractions, and since Jed's birth was so quick, she offered to check my dilation. I declined. I hate being checked and always decline. I know too many stories of ladies that were not dilated and then had a baby shortly after (and vise versa). Dilation often mean nothing and only add extra stress and unwanted germs.
I woke up Saturday at 3:30AM with timetable contractions, however they still weren't strong. Around 5:00AM I woke Ty up and told him that I might possibly be in the beginning stages of labor. Since Jed was born unattended, I really wanted to be proactive about any little sign of labor. Any other pregnancy and I probably wouldn’t have even mention the contractions. At 5:30AM, I got the shakes. Like shakes all over and nauseous, so pretty much the worst feeling. I hate it. This is always a big sign of labor for me. At this time my contractions were not strong and averaging about 30 seconds long every 3-7 minutes. We decided to call the midwife at 5:45AM. Jamie Lynn, the midwife who took care of me after Jed was born was on call and decided to come over right away. I was starting to get excited because 1) I always wanted a morning birth that the kids could attend and 2) I love Jamie Lynn. By 6:30AM my sister, mother, and midwife were here, but of course, my labor had decided to peter out. I was still swaying through them, but they were about 6-10 minutes apart and some weren’t even strong enough to time. We slowly started our morning and waited to see what would happen. We all hung out in the kitchen eating fruit and chatting. I felt bad because Jamie Lynn had already been at a birth the night before and I obviously wasn’t progressing. I was feeling discouraged, but Jamie Lynn encouraged me that it more than likely was real labor and that I would soon be holding my baby, and regardless, every contraction does something. She encouraged me to go on a walk, so around 7:15, Ty and I went for a walk around the block. It was so sweet being able to take an early morning walk with just my husband. I will always treasure the alone time as the sun and birds woke up. The walk didn’t help labor to pick up, so we decided to send everyone on with their day. Before Jamie Lynn left, she checked baby’s position and he was now indeed engaged and very low. She offered to check my dilation, but again, I declined. By 8AM every one went home and promised to keep their phones close by.
The day went on as normal. Ty made eggs and we spent the morning slowly going through our routine. Since I had been up since 3:30AM Ty offered to take the kids out of the house for a little so that I could nap. Ty took the kids to my dad’s office and to run some errands, while I stayed home. However, although I wasn’t in active labor, my contractions were strong enough that I could not sleep through them. I tried to nap for over an hour, but finally gave up, grabbed a Perfect snack Bar, and turned on Netflix. The kids and Ty got home just in time for lunch. I was glad to see them and for the distraction, because I was honestly just annoyed with my contractions. If I can’t sleep then I want to be in active labor! The day went on pretty much the same - I tried to sleep, but couldn’t, and my frustration grew. That evening we had a campfire and made dinner over the flames. It was such a sweet time with our little family of 5. The weather was perfect and I remember thinking how sweet life is, but still my frustration was holding strong. By 5PM the contractions were averaging about every 10 minutes, but not any stronger (breathing and swaying through them, but happy and talking between). By the kids’ bedtime I was exhausted and defeated. I laid down on our bed and my sweet husband put the three kiddos to bed. I don’t want to forget how sweet Charlie was all day. All throughout the day he would come sweetly place his hand on me and ask if I was okay. He also said things like, “Mommy, I know that Jesus can just pop the baby out!” Amen, child, if only he would - in His timing of course :-)
As Ty was finishing with the kids upstairs (around 8PM), I heard our back door open. My dad was worried and thought I was in active labor and sent my mom over (still not exactly sure why he thought this). Being exhausted and honestly, really grumpy, I quickly and probably not very nicely, told her to be quiet so the kids wouldn’t hear her and to go home.
At 9:30PM I text my friend Leah, who also taught out Bradley class before Charlie was born, and asked her for prayer. She instantly text me back the sweetest prayer for patience and strength. I decided to get in the shower around 10PM. Ty encouraged me through the shower and continued to time my never progressing contractions. When I was pregnant with Charlie, the shower made me go into active labor immediately. I was sad when that wasn’t the case this time. After the shower, we climbed into bed and turned Netflix on to distract me. Only, Ty instantly fell asleep and I was too uncomfortable to choose something. Around 10:50PM my legs (and only my legs) started to shake. With no other changes, we decides to call the midwife. I also text my sister and mom. When Ty got ahold of the midwife we were told that the first midwife on call was already with a laboring mother and that unless our baby was going to be born pretty quickly, we may want to consider going to the birth center. Ty hung up and came to discuss our options with me. Seeing how my labor had been going, I decided that we should probably pack our bags and prepare for the totally unexpected drive and night at the birth center. However, as we were packing our bags, my contractions slowly started to gain intensity. I told Ty that we should just stay home, even if my labor stalled again, it wasn’t like they could force me to go into the birthing center. Ty called the midwife to inform her of our decision and he got busy filling the birthing pool.
I labored in our room by myself for a little, but as the contractions continued to grow stronger, Ty would come place a hot rag on my back for a contraction and then in-between he would continue to work on the pool. My mom showed up around 10:30PM armed with baked oatmeal and fresh baked cookies (because she is the best and after I snapped at her around 8PM she went home and baked for me <3 ). At this point I was still talking through contractions, but I also didn’t really want to. I remember my mom asking me what I was doing with my phone (timing contractions) and not really wanting to answer her (pretty sure she figured it out on her own). Soon after my mom arrived contractions really picked up. I promised myself that I would not get in the birthing pool until after the midwife arrived, however, I was not able to relax and gain control very well. I was tense and losing mental strength. Ty called the midwife at 11:47PM to check where she was. She informed us she was about 5 minutes out. My sister Genna arrived at the exact same time as the midwife (my guess is around 11:55PM). As the midwife was settling, Genna came in and gave me the encouraging words that I needed to hear, right when I needed to hear it - She filled my tank with just the fuel I needed to finish. The midwife walked in and introduced herself and asked me to get on the bed so that she could check me. I knew that the baby was going to be born any minute, and I don’t like being checked, so I pretty much just ignored her. I had been laboring on my knees, but did stand up though. With the next contraction after standing up, my water broke. Now I was sure the babe would be earth side any minute, if not seconds. Again, the midwife asked me to get up on the bed. I told her that my water broke and that the baby was probably crowning. She looked quickly and she didn’t see anything. She also said that if I felt like I had to push, that I could and if I was complete then a baby would be coming. At this point I was semi squatting. I was not comfortable, nor really working with my body, but wasn’t sure in the moment how to get into a better position. I don’t remember having any more specific contractions, but I was done and wanted the baby out (and to nap). I pushed and his head was born. With one more push, his body came. Foster was born at 12:05AM. I remember being so relieved that it was over. I feel bad because with my other babies I was so excited to meet them, but this time I was more excited to sit down and close my eyes.
I labored in our room by myself for a little, but as the contractions continued to grow stronger, Ty would come place a hot rag on my back for a contraction and then in-between he would continue to work on the pool. My mom showed up around 10:30PM armed with baked oatmeal and fresh baked cookies (because she is the best and after I snapped at her around 8PM she went home and baked for me <3 ). At this point I was still talking through contractions, but I also didn’t really want to. I remember my mom asking me what I was doing with my phone (timing contractions) and not really wanting to answer her (pretty sure she figured it out on her own). Soon after my mom arrived contractions really picked up. I promised myself that I would not get in the birthing pool until after the midwife arrived, however, I was not able to relax and gain control very well. I was tense and losing mental strength. Ty called the midwife at 11:47PM to check where she was. She informed us she was about 5 minutes out. My sister Genna arrived at the exact same time as the midwife (my guess is around 11:55PM). As the midwife was settling, Genna came in and gave me the encouraging words that I needed to hear, right when I needed to hear it - She filled my tank with just the fuel I needed to finish. The midwife walked in and introduced herself and asked me to get on the bed so that she could check me. I knew that the baby was going to be born any minute, and I don’t like being checked, so I pretty much just ignored her. I had been laboring on my knees, but did stand up though. With the next contraction after standing up, my water broke. Now I was sure the babe would be earth side any minute, if not seconds. Again, the midwife asked me to get up on the bed. I told her that my water broke and that the baby was probably crowning. She looked quickly and she didn’t see anything. She also said that if I felt like I had to push, that I could and if I was complete then a baby would be coming. At this point I was semi squatting. I was not comfortable, nor really working with my body, but wasn’t sure in the moment how to get into a better position. I don’t remember having any more specific contractions, but I was done and wanted the baby out (and to nap). I pushed and his head was born. With one more push, his body came. Foster was born at 12:05AM. I remember being so relieved that it was over. I feel bad because with my other babies I was so excited to meet them, but this time I was more excited to sit down and close my eyes.
After a short rest, Foster and I climbed into bed and I finally took the time to take in his sweet self. Everyone mentioned how big he looked for being so early. He was wide awake and asked to nurse immediately. He latched like a pro and continued to nurse for over an hour. The next hour was spent taking in our new babe. My sweet sister served me and brought me drinks and held my puke bowl. My mom took such good care of the nurse and midwife and served them. The nurse and midwife did their paper work and kept a close eye on Foster and myself. Another reason I love home births, is because I got to hold my baby for the first 1.5 hours of his life before they took him to weigh and look him over. We all took guesses on how much he weighed. I surprised myself when I guessed it exactly! Everyone took a minute to meet Foster and then headed home. By 3:00AM, (nearly 24 hours since I first woke up with contractions) it was just the three of us getting ready to go to bed (I love home births for this reason!)
The next week was a slice of heaven. Ty took the whole week off and we got to slowly adjust to being a family of 6. The kids were so sweet and loved him from the moment they met him. Jed has especially done so well being gentle and kind. He always runs over and gives him a gentle kiss before saying “love you!” and running off again.
Foster’s birth may not have been my dream birth, but it got me my dream babe. Not only is he the perfect addition to our family, but he has been so content and sweet.
Foster - to encourage (or a worker of the forest)
Ellis - benevolence (also my attempt of a male form of Elizabeth after my mom)
Stats so I don’t forget:
Due - April 11th
Weight - 7 lbs 14 oz
8lbs 6 oz at 2 week appointment
Height - 20 1/4”
Born at 12:05AM
I'll like you forever,
I'll love you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
